Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day

Mother's Day. My newest favorite holiday. It celebrates all that is best in my life. When I think of all of the things I am grateful for, I feel so overwhelmed, at a loss for words.

My mom has always said that the period in her life when she had little kids was the best time in her life. I've always thought that her wisdom - and her consideration in expressing it - has been a great gift. It is hard, the kids are demanding, your body isn't your own, some of your most basic needs aren't being met, and you get little in return that is tangible. Indeed, you give up much of what you used to think defined you. And yet... the returns are immeasurable.

When the girls see pictures of events that happened before they were born, they ask, "where was I?" The first time I got this question, I answered in an inspiration I think is true and now I always say the same thing, telling them "you were in my heart." I know that they were created in love by a Creator who IS love and somehow that knowledge translates to certainty that the love I have for them isn't a new one, but one that I've carried in my heart for a very long time.

When I hear so many mothers complain about their kids, part of me understands. But part of me realizes that I have reason to be grateful even for the heartache of five lost children, pregnancies lost at various stages before, during, and after the births of these two wonderful girls. I can't take them for granted and indeed I don't. I relish their presence, their love, their passion, their affection, their beauty, their achievements, their brilliant minds, their inquisitive questions. I am so aware of my appreciation for their presence in my life that nearly every day I have a moment where I think, "this is truly the best moment of my life." The press of a soft cheek, raucous laughter, inquisitive questions... these moments come in many forms and this day creates a wonderful opportunity to celebrate all of these many gifts and the great love that blesses me.

After Mass, we went to Train Town in Sonoma; Katherine's idea. I also got breakfast in bed, facilitated by my own preparations the night before. But it wasn't about the service or the food, but letting my girls see me celebrate. We topped off the day with a barbecue at our house that my parent's attended; celebrating together is ideal.

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